Recommended Resources

Good Books and Reading

How to Do the Work: Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past and Create Your Self
Dr. Nicole LePera

Any books or articles by Pema Chödrön 

The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself
Michael A. Singer

Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender 
David R. Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D.

Forgiveness Practices

Visualization Exercise

The following visualization for forgiveness is especially effective when it is neither safe, comfortable nor possible to find resolution with someone in person.

To begin, imagine the person with whom you’ve had conflict standing in front of you.  Imagine putting your arms around them until they hold you in return.  Visualize looking into their eyes and repeat three times, “The same light that is in me, is in you.  I love you completely, and release you to be who you are.”

This practice helps first to soften your own heart, then shifts your energy field.  Working in this way, it is possible to go straight to the soul, bypassing ego, pride, stubbornness and other things that get in the way of healing.

You may repeat any time, any where, as often as feels right.  This is a simple, yet powerful practice.  Be prepared for change.

Metta (Loving-Kindness) Meditation

In metta meditation, begin with extending loving-kindness toward yourself with the sentences below (there are many variations, so feel free to make up your own--there are also several books on loving-kindness).  Next, go through the phrases with a loved one, or loved ones in mind.  Perhaps next, extend toward friends in your community, your state, your country and so on.  When you’re ready, send loving-kindness to someone with whom you have challenge, conflict, wounding, etc.  You could even add politicians and others with differing ideologies.  End with offering compassion toward all beings everywhere.

“May I be filled with loving-kindness. 

“May I be peaceful and at ease.

“May I be well and healthy.

“May I be safe from inner harm and outer harm.

“May I be free.

“May I be happy.”

After the first round, continue on, e.g., “May (he/she/they/all beings everywhere) be filled with loving-kindness....”

This is an easy and beautiful practice that really sets an open-hearted tone for the day, even if you start out feeling cranky, tired, upset, etc. May you be happy. May you be free.

Self-Forgiveness

When working with thoughts/beliefs/behaviors for which we’ve judged ourselves, place a hand over your heart, take two deep inhalations and exhalations then say, “I forgive myself for buying into the belief that ______________. The truth is: _______________.” E.g. “I forgive myself for buying into the belief that I must earn love and acceptance. The truth is, I am inherently worthy of love and belonging exactly as I am. I am love.” (University of Santa Monica and Alyssa Nobriga, Institute of Coaching Mastery)